08/30/2017

Listening is More Important Than Finding the Right Words to Say

Resist the urge to throw out a well-meaning but cliched phrase

There are some moments when I just don’t know what to say. I want to share something meaningful – a helpful thought or a word of comfort. But, when I try to form sentences, my tongue gets tied and nothing sounds quite right.

I felt this way a few weeks ago after the horrific events of Charlottesville. The images I saw on the screen of the overt demonstration of racism and hate disturbed me to the core. It made me think of my friends who experience both overt and the more hidden systemic forms of racism every day. I wanted to say something meaningful, but I struggled with finding the right words to convey my feelings.

Not long before Charlottesville, I had another moment where I didn’t know what to say. A friend suddenly lost a child. As a fellow parent, I couldn’t imagine the type of pain they were experiencing. As I drove down to the hospital to see them, I wondered, “What on earth could I possibly say that would be meaningful?”

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