11/12/2025

Six Tips for Saying 'No' to Unwanted Obligations

Refusing to utter 'no' will lead to stress, resentment or burnout

In my private practice and my advice column, I hear from a lot of people-pleasers. Often mildly socially anxious, these individuals—and the majority are women, though men can certainly be afflicted—are so afraid of disappointing others that they make themselves miserable. They're desperate for help with saying "no," and yet they also can't imagine actually bringing themselves to do it.

Now, of course, the world needs people to step up—and volunteering can benefit your well-being in important ways. People who do kind acts for others, and devote time to working on a cause greater than themselves, can get a mood boost, and may have a better chance of finding meaning in the long term.

But saying yes to too many things out of a sense of dread at saying no, to the point where it leads to stress, resentment or burnout, is not good for anyone. The world needs helpers who are energized and doing things because they want to, not because they are hesitant to say "no." Plus, when you are not assertive about setting boundaries, you can bring about a vicious cycle, in which you will be repeatedly targeted by people looking to pawn things off on you, since they know you are unlikely to draw a line. And you will grow more and more stressed.

Please select this link to read the complete article from Psychology Today.