Months ago, I began coaching a manager and their direct report. The two were in deep conflict—the manager felt the direct report was reactive and defensive, while the direct report was unwilling to give difficult feedback, manage up and advocate for their needs. At the time, their interactions were fraught with anger, frustration and irritability. Attempts to resolve the conflict were unsuccessful. Neither were fully engaging their right hemispheres. Instead, they were operating from a predominantly transactional mindset and a triggered nervous system.
After a couple of months of one-on-one coaching with each, the direct report found the confidence and courage to deliver feedback to their manager. It was met with openness. The manager was able to sit in the discomfort that comes from the receiving end of feedback. Once there, they could move into a conversation underscored by tactical empathy, using resonant language to identify unmet needs and how they could collaboratively come to a solution.
In a previous article, I suggested that rebuilding organization-wide trust requires a top-down commitment to rewiring the brain's right hemisphere. Too often, leaders and staff in today's culture and workforce prioritize their brain's transactional left hemispheres (versus their relational right hemispheres).
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